Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
About Deviant Karl Guethert36/Male/New Zealand Recent Activity
Deviant for 11 Years
Needs Core Membership
Statistics 346 Deviations 2,248 Comments 10,779 Pageviews

Newest Deviations

Sunset Shimmer vs The Sirens :icongoofycabal:Goofycabal 177 19
Burnt Offerings
Burnt Offerings
The Papier-mâché statue.
Wind blown,
Watch him stand guard.
His painted eyes gauge everyone's
He makes the feeble
Makes the braggarts puff
their chests.
This sacrificial guardian
his destiny
of ashes and flame.
You envy him.
The drummers wake.
Leaping heel-toe-heel-toe,
a primal stalk
before their instruments.
Your ears pulse to the rumble
of stick-on-taught-drum skin.
Your heart matches pace.
Bass drum
drowns its smaller brethren,
a quickening of rate.
Drummers frenzy,
their whirling sticks
with the night air.
You feel their drumbeats
in your gut.
A spirit
of the ancients
takes your muscles,
sways you side-to-side.
Frenzy pitch
at the drumsticks' clatter.
The sentinel ignites.
Fire dances
to the growling drums.
from his spine.
The drummers
urge the flames
to rise,
The flames
take breath.
Papier-mâché thighs
blossom with burning
A fiery gout
:icongoofycabal:Goofycabal 0 0
Chimaera :icongoofycabal:Goofycabal 28 6 Elsa and Anna and Sven :icongoofycabal:Goofycabal 120 10 Button Mash and Elaina :icongoofycabal:Goofycabal 61 12 Semi-Persian Earrings :icongoofycabal:Goofycabal 4 0 DNA Earrings :icongoofycabal:Goofycabal 1 0
8 Simple Rules
People often ask how I became such a successful author. I laugh, and tell them it was inevitable. But then they ask: “Well, how did you do it?” I simply stare at them. Wild eyed. Really make them squirm. It’s best when I don’t blink. If that fails to scare them off, I’ll be forced to sigh and actually offer them advice. Something along the lines of:
Step 1: Get plenty of rest before you start writing. About 18 hours straight should suffice. If you have trouble getting to sleep, a few glasses of bourbon are likely to be beneficial.
Step 2: Use your dreams as inspiration. However, be careful how you word the story. Don’t outright state that you rode down the street on the back of a giant hotdog, for example. Especially leave out that your mother (in a bikini) was throwing handfuls of coins at you. Instead, be creative. Suggest that the person riding the hotdog was your nemesis. Strongly imply that this happened in real life. Deny that it
:icongoofycabal:Goofycabal 8 9
I See What You Did There
A world of stories waits to be told.
So can you tell me how to get,
                       how to get to
       Inspiration Street?
A writer’s gaze should never tire
Like Sauron’s       eye
Listen with your eyes
Listen with your eyes
And write everything you see.
I can see a rainbow:
       Where does it start
                               or end?
Bent through the air - a pot of gold?
An enemy’s heart?
Curved from
:icongoofycabal:Goofycabal 4 0
Notable Papyrus
She throws herself open
my contribution.
Invites the hand
strokes I make
clasped right-handed.
At her worst, she glares at me.
Blank. Brooding.
Intimidating. Cold.
My companion in art
she takes what I give
she grabs it tight.
My receptacle.
My resource.
When I am without her,
my hand lingers
When I return
she leaves me
If don’t feed her attention
     when the urge strikes
she doesn’t want it later on.
She dominates my soul.
A bondage I can’t function without.
She’s only satisfied when I give her my heart.
I fill her up, she drains me dry.
She gives me nothing, but my own words in return.
I don’t care – I need her all the same.
I fear the day when I must replace her.
My lover, my mistress,
that criticising bitch.
:icongoofycabal:Goofycabal 2 2
I’m being hunted by
Jiminy Cricket.
Everywhere I go
I see him.
Massive, black, in random locations.
The supermarket.
The Men’s room.
The Library door.
Backstroke in the fountain.
Lurking about in no-man’s land.
The Men’s room.
I’m starting to doubt my sanity
       Question my subconscious
       Ponder my dilemmas
                                       Ramble unnecessarily…
                                       I mean, seriously – the Men’s room?
                                       What’s up with that?
:icongoofycabal:Goofycabal 3 5
Fantasize ‘bout locks of yore
On scalp they were
Like mane.
Luscious sideburns framed my face – a King of Rock nickname.
I one time had a mighty fringe
Coiffed by self – so proud.
Long before the trend was set
Emo length in
Look here now the bare skinned pate;
Of scalp’s hirsuteness lost.
Shines in light of daytime hour;
The sunlit skin so glossed.
I ne’er did think my locks would go;
Didn’t dare to dream.
Ever-there was what I thought
Never-gone t’would seem.
Till happenstance occurred one day,
I glimpsed the mirror’s truth.
The scalp that hath been grown upon;
Your comb-o’er bares not youth!”
A different view became the norm;
Nothingness outside.
Encapsulated in new form -
Worn now shaved with pride.
:icongoofycabal:Goofycabal 2 0
5000 Views :icongoofycabal:Goofycabal 10 1 Octavia and Vinyl Scratch :icongoofycabal:Goofycabal 86 17 Lyra and Bon Bon :icongoofycabal:Goofycabal 53 12 Snowdrop :icongoofycabal:Goofycabal 86 13

Random Favourites

Shark Rex :iconheckthor:heckthor 5,079 359 Demons Arise :icontonyhough:tonyhough 17 8 The Night Dragon :icontonyhough:tonyhough 13 7 Sushi In New York :iconrjonesdesign:rjonesdesign 572 134 Scotland on Sunday :iconinkvenom:inkvenom 1,075 217 Doctor Horrible FanPiece :iconoldschoolrobot:oldschoolrobot 109 18 Dr Horrible :iconforeverdelayed:foreverdelayed 1,113 113 Dr. Horrible: PhD :iconcrispy-gypsy:Crispy-Gypsy 3,312 259 Planet EW-92.14 :iconshelest:Shelest 880 111 Defending the Territory :iconuzag:Uzag 7 3 Goofycabal - Chug and Lug - Doc Nog :iconuzag:Uzag 7 8 Goofycabal - Chug and Lug - Rabbit Fish :iconuzag:Uzag 6 7 Goofycabal - Chug and Lug - Squiggy :iconuzag:Uzag 9 11 where did you come from :iconvaporotem:vaporotem 2,818 528 can i keep him? :iconbriannacherrygarcia:briannacherrygarcia 7,186 1,505




  • Listening to: Wrestling entrance theme songs
So, Issue 2 of Waikato University's Mayhem journal came out on December 4th - and my piece 8 Simple Rules was included :D

Direct link to the piece in Journal Form:…

Of course, there's also a whole slew of awesome work in the journal itself.


Karl Guethert
New Zealand
Current Residence: With Sultanas and Dates
Favourite genre of music: Rock. REAL Rock. Not the modern "please everyone psuedo-rock", but 70's and 80's
Shell of choice: Blue. Take that, player in first place!
Skin of choice: Not itchy
Personal Quote: "Hey, what smells like blue?"


Add a Comment:
TechTalkPony Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2016
Happy Birthday! ᵔ.ᵔ…
WorldofTanks Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2015
Happy Birthday 
MoonlightsSong Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thanks for the llama!
Goofycabal Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2014
No worries ^_^
Sonic-fan17 Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
Thanks for the llama
Goofycabal Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2014
No worries ^_^
Kyogre20 Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for the llama!
Goofycabal Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2014
No worries ^_^
Nakouwolf Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the llama, I give you one too :D
Goofycabal Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2014
No worries ^_^

And cheers :D
Add a Comment: